I Hate Everything: Baby Driver

To critique the critics for a moment: People who watch movies professionally are so starved for original content that even the most mediocre films will benefit from grade inflation. This is how vanity picture The Nice Guys is 92% fresh despite being derivative of the auteur’s own work to the point where a comparison to…

How to Fix the Walking Dead

Scene: A zombie apocalypse. A group of survivors is gathered in a wooded area. The leader is inspecting the new recruits. “What can you do?” “I can hotwire cars.” “Welcome aboard. How ’bout you?” “I can skin game.” “Nice. What about you, chubs?” “Suck dick. All. Day.” Look, there are two major problems with the…